Psychologist and sexologist, John Money came up with the theory of a lovemap. A lovemap is a template. It’s a template that we are constantly measuring our sexual and romantic experiences against. It’s the map of what we like, who we like and how we like it. Money’s idea is that we all have one, and they tend to be pretty specific, right down to how exactly you need to be touched to have an orgasm. In this episode of Audio Smut we explore different kinds of lovemaps: sexual lovemaps that deviate from preconceived notions of what is suppose to happen when one body meets another; dating lovemaps unveiling our tendencies in relationships; and finally, the physical map of touch.
Cary and Beta are two people who are both intersexed, both were assigned genders that they didn’t feel fit at birth and have both transitioned to the opposite gender. Individually, they went through a lot, spanning from feeling left out throughout childhood to having awkward sex. They were living 1000 miles apart when they met on Second Life. Cary and Beta have been happily married for six years now. Check out Cary’s blog if you want to learn more about intersexuality.
Sum of My Heart
Dating patterns come in all heights and widths — especially in Jen’s world, where her dating history is plotted in rows and columns of an Excel spreadsheet. In isolation, each cell reveals nothing more than a simple marking of an “x,” or a digit. Collectively, however, Jen draws from this data of scientific, journal-like entries in conjunction with interviews conducted with three ex-lovers (including her first boyfriend from 13 years ago)—to better understand her Heart.
In thinking about maps, we asked our friends what gets them off. We asked specifically for people to discuss parts of their bodies that are less sexualized. Here, we have created an audio collage that hopefully leaves you wholly satisfied. This piece originally debuted at Audio Smut’s Sex-Ed event.
If you’d like to sample this episode before you go all the way, take a listen to a shorter version of “Hard Boiled Eggs”: